It has been a bit over three months since I returned to the Emerald City and this post has been a long time coming. For the most part, I have been burdened by an unimaginable amount of work coupled with a right brain / left brain territory battle which has not left much time for blogging - even if it is just for the few Rainbow readers who desire a status update now and again.
There have been many times over the last three months when I felt as if the readings, assignments, papers, upcoming mid-terms, homework, club activities were swirling around me like an overflowing pool of water swishing above my head as I treaded to stay afloat. The treading motivated many sacrifices – primarily a hopeful yet non-sustainable fitness routine, my general health, and meeting new people / socializing with my fellow classmates. My cohort consists of 65 students from 30 different countries and the two major benefits from a class this size and diverse (compared to other b.schools with 500+ students from the Anytown, USA) are:
1. The creation of strong lifelong relationships with many people because we spend most of our time together and have left our friendships at home base
2. A tremendous opportunity to learn about different cultures, countries and experiences from one another.
Tonight my friend and study buddy (and by study buddy I mean he teaches me and I bring Tim Tams) organized an event inspired by his TED.com obsession. The concept of the event was for 5 people to each give a 20 minute speech on a topic of personal expertise, with a general focus on culture and diversity. All the speeches were informative, interesting, impressive and absolutely different. I learned about one man’s journey through the culture shock of living in 9 different countries around the world; Chilean history and landscapes; A 6-month trip across Africa in a Land Rover and how to stay calm when running into rebel shepherds armed with AK-47’s; lessons of the Bible from a non believer; and the life of an idea.
Although I have spent most of my time here grasping for air, tonight’s experience lifted me up to take a deep and full breath, reminding me that beyond the assignments and endless pages of words is something I will never be able to learn from a book. These are the experiences worth reflecting on, remembering and sharing with friends – even when it means ‘fessing up to a particularly long period of silence.
Cheers to little reminders that keep me motivated and to all those who shared stories tonight. clink.
4.20.2009
9.05.2008
I have to admit that I feel a bit guilty that it has been a month since I posted last, but those feelings should end now, ummmmm ok NOW. I know Rainbow readers don't want me to feel guilty for a posting pause and probably enjoy the break from my recent lengthy blog posts, so these feelings are all on me. There is no more perfect day than today to stop caring about the should and worrying about the guilt.
I turned 30 today and of all the possible ways I could feel with today's monumental event, I feel loved and supported the most. I am grateful to have such wonderful and caring people in my life. My friends and family took care, thought, time and effort to make today a special day for me. Thank you!
To my caring family and friends: In the past I have celebrated wonderful birthdays, but today was really special, and memorable. I am excited about all that the coming 4th decade will bring. I predict that this age is will direct me toward the relationships and individuals that matter most and prioritize what is most important to me. For each of you who has shared love and this day with me, thank you. I hope that I am able to do the same for you.
Cheers to the beats of my 30 year old heart. thathump thathump thathump clink.
I turned 30 today and of all the possible ways I could feel with today's monumental event, I feel loved and supported the most. I am grateful to have such wonderful and caring people in my life. My friends and family took care, thought, time and effort to make today a special day for me. Thank you!
To my caring family and friends: In the past I have celebrated wonderful birthdays, but today was really special, and memorable. I am excited about all that the coming 4th decade will bring. I predict that this age is will direct me toward the relationships and individuals that matter most and prioritize what is most important to me. For each of you who has shared love and this day with me, thank you. I hope that I am able to do the same for you.
Cheers to the beats of my 30 year old heart. thathump thathump thathump clink.
8.01.2008
A Legend of a Ride
The true story I am about to tell is one of heart pounding excitement, sadness and pride.
Act 1:
After a delicious Newtown Thai meal and a windy walk to the bus stop, burrr, Joaquin and I boarded the bus home. The bus was pretty full, and there were no available seats so we stood near the rear exit. We passed a few stops when a man who had been sitting at the back (I'll call him Man 1 - - picture scruffy, spends time on the streets drinking too much alcohol, dirty hands, missing teeth, might talk to himself - - ) walked toward the rear door. He noticed a Indian man (Man 2 - - 20-30's who looked as if he was on his way home from a long day at the office) sitting near the door.
Act 2:
Man 1 notices Man 2 and starts mumbling. Man 2 ignores Man 1 and continues to look out the window. Man 1 doesn't like Man 2 ignoring him so he starts spitting racial slurs. "racial slur"
Man 2 continues to ignore as does the woman stranger sitting between Man 2 and the standing Man 1. Man 1 goes for it again, this time louder "RaCiAl SlUr + grating taunt + hand gesture"
Joaquin and I pick up on what is happening and look at each other in disbelief.
The bus keeps rolling along and Man 1 does not give up, he leans over toward the face of Man 2 and says "RACIAL SLUR" No one on the bus moves, not man 2, not the woman sitting next to Man 2, not 2/3 of the people riding the bus who are now aware of what is happening. No one says anything to Man 1...except for Joaquin.
He turns to the man and says "Hey, why don't you shut the f**** up?"
Act 3:
Man 1's attention is now off Man 2 and on to Joaquin. He starts yelling at Joaquin "Why don't you mind your own business?" Joaquin quickly points out that Man 1 himself wasn't minding his own business by yelling at Man 2.
A seat opens up near us and Joaquin and I scoot into it. Man 1 begins mocking Joaquin in a whiny voice, repeating to himself "why don't you shut the f*** up, why don't you shut the f*** up, I'll punch you in the mouth, you mother f." I am looking straight into Man 1's eyes, glaring at him, holding my breath because I am also on the verge of saying something. I glare and hope that he feels judged. In attempt to ignore Man 1, we try to continue our conversation (me: staring, Joaquin: looking forward), the doors of the bus open and as Man 1 is exiting he slaps the back of Joaquin's head.
Act 4:
At this moment, and it is a very quick moment, Joaquin gets out of his seat and helps Man 1 out the door with a shove. Man 1 lunges back on the bus with a swing and miss. Joaquin pushes Man 1 out of the bus again as I yell to the driver to close the doors and drive... nothing happens. Man 1 gets back on the bus taunting Joaquin to get off the bus for a full on brawl, some additional voices have joined in my plea to the driver as an older woman says loudly "I need to get off" (why she didn't turn around, take 7 steps and use the front doors makes me want to do something a bit more aggressive than take away her daily scone) and the driver again does nothing. Joaquin finally pushes Man 1 to the ground the woman asks in a crackly voice "it is safe to get off the bus now" she exits, the driver closes the doors and continues his drive.
Act 5:
As soon as the bus moves there are some cheers from the back of the bus and a young woman shouts "YOU ARE A LEGEND" (she said it again a few stops later as she exited the bus).
Man 2 got out of his seat to exit and asked Joaquin "are you ok?"
Joaquin: "Yeah, I am fine"
Man 2: "I am really sorry about that"
Joaquin: "I am sorry too."
Man 2: "Well, thank you."
And all of a sudden the bus is as normal as always, chugging along to the rhythm of the stops and starts while my heart was pounding. It was pounding with adrenalin from the incident and pounding with pride. It is hard for me to believe that no one else stood up for Man 2 on the bus, especially when Joaquin stepped in. Everyone just listened to their Ipods, read their books, looked out the window and pretended to ignore an incident that should never be ignored.
The optimistic Buckogirl hopes that, like myself, other people were inspired by Joaquin's courage to speak up and in the future will not be frozen by our own self-interest.
Cheers to Joaquin - - - this one is all yours. clink.
Act 1:
After a delicious Newtown Thai meal and a windy walk to the bus stop, burrr, Joaquin and I boarded the bus home. The bus was pretty full, and there were no available seats so we stood near the rear exit. We passed a few stops when a man who had been sitting at the back (I'll call him Man 1 - - picture scruffy, spends time on the streets drinking too much alcohol, dirty hands, missing teeth, might talk to himself - - ) walked toward the rear door. He noticed a Indian man (Man 2 - - 20-30's who looked as if he was on his way home from a long day at the office) sitting near the door.
Act 2:
Man 1 notices Man 2 and starts mumbling. Man 2 ignores Man 1 and continues to look out the window. Man 1 doesn't like Man 2 ignoring him so he starts spitting racial slurs. "racial slur"
Man 2 continues to ignore as does the woman stranger sitting between Man 2 and the standing Man 1. Man 1 goes for it again, this time louder "RaCiAl SlUr + grating taunt + hand gesture"
Joaquin and I pick up on what is happening and look at each other in disbelief.
The bus keeps rolling along and Man 1 does not give up, he leans over toward the face of Man 2 and says "RACIAL SLUR" No one on the bus moves, not man 2, not the woman sitting next to Man 2, not 2/3 of the people riding the bus who are now aware of what is happening. No one says anything to Man 1...except for Joaquin.
He turns to the man and says "Hey, why don't you shut the f**** up?"
Act 3:
Man 1's attention is now off Man 2 and on to Joaquin. He starts yelling at Joaquin "Why don't you mind your own business?" Joaquin quickly points out that Man 1 himself wasn't minding his own business by yelling at Man 2.
A seat opens up near us and Joaquin and I scoot into it. Man 1 begins mocking Joaquin in a whiny voice, repeating to himself "why don't you shut the f*** up, why don't you shut the f*** up, I'll punch you in the mouth, you mother f." I am looking straight into Man 1's eyes, glaring at him, holding my breath because I am also on the verge of saying something. I glare and hope that he feels judged. In attempt to ignore Man 1, we try to continue our conversation (me: staring, Joaquin: looking forward), the doors of the bus open and as Man 1 is exiting he slaps the back of Joaquin's head.
Act 4:
At this moment, and it is a very quick moment, Joaquin gets out of his seat and helps Man 1 out the door with a shove. Man 1 lunges back on the bus with a swing and miss. Joaquin pushes Man 1 out of the bus again as I yell to the driver to close the doors and drive... nothing happens. Man 1 gets back on the bus taunting Joaquin to get off the bus for a full on brawl, some additional voices have joined in my plea to the driver as an older woman says loudly "I need to get off" (why she didn't turn around, take 7 steps and use the front doors makes me want to do something a bit more aggressive than take away her daily scone) and the driver again does nothing. Joaquin finally pushes Man 1 to the ground the woman asks in a crackly voice "it is safe to get off the bus now" she exits, the driver closes the doors and continues his drive.
Act 5:
As soon as the bus moves there are some cheers from the back of the bus and a young woman shouts "YOU ARE A LEGEND" (she said it again a few stops later as she exited the bus).
Man 2 got out of his seat to exit and asked Joaquin "are you ok?"
Joaquin: "Yeah, I am fine"
Man 2: "I am really sorry about that"
Joaquin: "I am sorry too."
Man 2: "Well, thank you."
And all of a sudden the bus is as normal as always, chugging along to the rhythm of the stops and starts while my heart was pounding. It was pounding with adrenalin from the incident and pounding with pride. It is hard for me to believe that no one else stood up for Man 2 on the bus, especially when Joaquin stepped in. Everyone just listened to their Ipods, read their books, looked out the window and pretended to ignore an incident that should never be ignored.
The optimistic Buckogirl hopes that, like myself, other people were inspired by Joaquin's courage to speak up and in the future will not be frozen by our own self-interest.
Cheers to Joaquin - - - this one is all yours. clink.
7.18.2008
Is inner dialogue a sign of a lonely self?
Officially, I’ve been in Sydney 1 month. Last night I went to my first event to try to meet some new friends. I thought a pretty safe place to start would be with the Jewish Community, so I went to a young (25 – 40) professionals happy hour event. Joaquin was planning on meeting me there so I arrived alone to a large bar, with a DJ spinning some tracks and free house wine and beer for an hour.
Before I go any further know these stats:
# of people I knew* in Sydney before I arrived: 6 (including Joaquin)
# of contacts my friends have connected me to: 5
# of people I have found on my own via internet (not the scary kind of internet): 2
*knew = had met in person at least once
So, that is lucky 13? Ok, not bad, I gotta start somewhere. I think most of the ‘Rainbow’ readers who know me would agree that I am pretty outgoing, and generally enjoy chatting up strangers.
We now return to the networking event: As expected the room was buzzing with conversation, decently attractive people – the usual of what one would imagine at an event like this – people in small groups shouting at each other trying to have a normal conversation over the music. In a place where I know more than 13 people on the continent I would usually be working the room, saying hi to people I might have met a few times before, introducing friends to each other, meeting new people, catching up with friends I haven’t seen in a while, but this event in this bar feels nothing like what I know. There are some surrogates (faces that somewhat resemble people I know from a life before Oz) but it settles in that I am not in a familiar place. I grab a Chardonnay (clearly my wine of the moment) at the bar and search around the room for a good place to stand. I rule out any corners or tables against the wall with low chairs and find a tallboy table that some people are standing near in the center of the room. I take my wine to the table and ask if they mind for me to place my bag on the stool. “No worries” someone says. I think “Ok, made first contact.” I look around the room keenly aware that being totally anonymous in a room full of people is a situation I have rarely experienced. In a way I want to savor this moment. It doesn’t feel lonely, it feels special. Like knowing a secret that everyone in the room doesn’t know yet– I know what I have to offer as a potential friend and the lucky people I meet tonight don’t have a clue what might be coming to them – Perfectly content I sip my wine and try to imagine what conversations would be like with some of the people around me.
There are two guys in suits standing closest to me and I make eye contact with one of them. We smile courteously at each other and he continues a conversation with his better looking friend who I imagine to be a total A-hole.
SIDEBAR: Part of the fun of being anonymous in a room and in my brain is that I can make meaningless snap judgments (snappies) about people and there are no consequences. Now, hold your snappies towards me right there, readers…nothing would please me more than to have my negative snappies bite me in the bottom and teach me a lesson. After all, it would be duly deserved to someone who makes snappies in the first place. I shouldn’t be rewarded with true predictions about people if I am judging them negatively on their appearance alone. END OF SIDEBAR
I hear the smiling guy mention something to his friend about the fact that I have a ring on and they continue their conversation. I begin to wonder if tonight’s meeting people adventure will be more challenging than I expected. I remember to smile and look friendly, so I don’t scare away a Sydney version of Buckogirl. All of a sudden I have switched from feeling like I have something to offer everyone in the room to feeling self conscious.
I think:
---Am I at a singles event? Will people see my ring and wonder why I came to this event and not bother talking to me? How am I ever going to meet people?”
I give myself a pep talk :
---Ok, Bucko.g - you need a strategy. I need to figure out a way to break into some of these conversations. If only I had a wingman – where is Joaquin anyway?”
My mind is blank. Everything I think of sounds like it came from a book written by a socially awkward gym teacher or a creep monger.
“Hi. I thought it was time to stop being anonymous so I wanted to introduce myself.”
---NO.
“Um, do you know what time it is? Oh. So that is X more minutes until the tab is over?”
---NO.
“Hi, sorry to interrupt your likely interesting conversation to report that I just moved to Sydney and I don’t know anyone.”
---Nah – has potential, but needs a bit of editing.
“Wanna new friend?”
---what the hell is happening to me? I’m just going to stand here, look friendly and hope that someone talks to me.
So, I wait and look around the room for other people who are standing alone. I eye someone who looks like they were actually the writer of the lines above. Errr, I really hope HE doesn’t talk to me.
Eventually I met a woman who also came alone. We chatted for a bit and decided to walk about the room. I get caught by a group of 3 people who are talking about the amount of pheromones in the room. As I pass them I say “to get the sex you have to really want the sex” they laugh and ask me about my accent and I think…I AM BACK.
Last night I realized that meeting people is going to take a lot more time and effort than I hoped. I want to make the most of my time here and feel motivated to try this again. So, here is the deal: Last night, was the first of a series of social experiments I will be conducting as I place myself in situations where I don’t know anyone. I imagine that the places I hit will not always be structured events, some will be bars, some coffee shops, some stores, the gym…etc. If you have suggestions for opening lines or would like to share stories about being in a room of strangers, please feel free to post below. I will report back on my progress.
Cheers to feeling encouraged to go on with my social self and turn lucky number 13 into something that isn’t a prime. clink.
Before I go any further know these stats:
# of people I knew* in Sydney before I arrived: 6 (including Joaquin)
# of contacts my friends have connected me to: 5
# of people I have found on my own via internet (not the scary kind of internet): 2
*knew = had met in person at least once
So, that is lucky 13? Ok, not bad, I gotta start somewhere. I think most of the ‘Rainbow’ readers who know me would agree that I am pretty outgoing, and generally enjoy chatting up strangers.
We now return to the networking event: As expected the room was buzzing with conversation, decently attractive people – the usual of what one would imagine at an event like this – people in small groups shouting at each other trying to have a normal conversation over the music. In a place where I know more than 13 people on the continent I would usually be working the room, saying hi to people I might have met a few times before, introducing friends to each other, meeting new people, catching up with friends I haven’t seen in a while, but this event in this bar feels nothing like what I know. There are some surrogates (faces that somewhat resemble people I know from a life before Oz) but it settles in that I am not in a familiar place. I grab a Chardonnay (clearly my wine of the moment) at the bar and search around the room for a good place to stand. I rule out any corners or tables against the wall with low chairs and find a tallboy table that some people are standing near in the center of the room. I take my wine to the table and ask if they mind for me to place my bag on the stool. “No worries” someone says. I think “Ok, made first contact.” I look around the room keenly aware that being totally anonymous in a room full of people is a situation I have rarely experienced. In a way I want to savor this moment. It doesn’t feel lonely, it feels special. Like knowing a secret that everyone in the room doesn’t know yet– I know what I have to offer as a potential friend and the lucky people I meet tonight don’t have a clue what might be coming to them – Perfectly content I sip my wine and try to imagine what conversations would be like with some of the people around me.
There are two guys in suits standing closest to me and I make eye contact with one of them. We smile courteously at each other and he continues a conversation with his better looking friend who I imagine to be a total A-hole.
SIDEBAR: Part of the fun of being anonymous in a room and in my brain is that I can make meaningless snap judgments (snappies) about people and there are no consequences. Now, hold your snappies towards me right there, readers…nothing would please me more than to have my negative snappies bite me in the bottom and teach me a lesson. After all, it would be duly deserved to someone who makes snappies in the first place. I shouldn’t be rewarded with true predictions about people if I am judging them negatively on their appearance alone. END OF SIDEBAR
I hear the smiling guy mention something to his friend about the fact that I have a ring on and they continue their conversation. I begin to wonder if tonight’s meeting people adventure will be more challenging than I expected. I remember to smile and look friendly, so I don’t scare away a Sydney version of Buckogirl. All of a sudden I have switched from feeling like I have something to offer everyone in the room to feeling self conscious.
I think:
---Am I at a singles event? Will people see my ring and wonder why I came to this event and not bother talking to me? How am I ever going to meet people?”
I give myself a pep talk :
---Ok, Bucko.g - you need a strategy. I need to figure out a way to break into some of these conversations. If only I had a wingman – where is Joaquin anyway?”
My mind is blank. Everything I think of sounds like it came from a book written by a socially awkward gym teacher or a creep monger.
“Hi. I thought it was time to stop being anonymous so I wanted to introduce myself.”
---NO.
“Um, do you know what time it is? Oh. So that is X more minutes until the tab is over?”
---NO.
“Hi, sorry to interrupt your likely interesting conversation to report that I just moved to Sydney and I don’t know anyone.”
---Nah – has potential, but needs a bit of editing.
“Wanna new friend?”
---what the hell is happening to me? I’m just going to stand here, look friendly and hope that someone talks to me.
So, I wait and look around the room for other people who are standing alone. I eye someone who looks like they were actually the writer of the lines above. Errr, I really hope HE doesn’t talk to me.
Eventually I met a woman who also came alone. We chatted for a bit and decided to walk about the room. I get caught by a group of 3 people who are talking about the amount of pheromones in the room. As I pass them I say “to get the sex you have to really want the sex” they laugh and ask me about my accent and I think…I AM BACK.
Last night I realized that meeting people is going to take a lot more time and effort than I hoped. I want to make the most of my time here and feel motivated to try this again. So, here is the deal: Last night, was the first of a series of social experiments I will be conducting as I place myself in situations where I don’t know anyone. I imagine that the places I hit will not always be structured events, some will be bars, some coffee shops, some stores, the gym…etc. If you have suggestions for opening lines or would like to share stories about being in a room of strangers, please feel free to post below. I will report back on my progress.
Cheers to feeling encouraged to go on with my social self and turn lucky number 13 into something that isn’t a prime. clink.
7.16.2008
Waaaaa, I don't like the way you look.
Something I am learning about the government of Australia, or more specifically New South Wales (NSW), is that they don't like to show the rest of the world Australia's true colors. They represent a glorious 1st world country where everyone is happy and everything magical. You come here and know that this IS the place where skittles fall from the sky. But, when fast food chains and 200,000 Catholic Pilgrims converge on the world down under you better believe that behind the mask of beauty hides a repressive beast.The Pope has arrived for a week long celebration called World Youth Day. For the occasion the NSW police issued statements warning people of a $5500 fine and jail time for "annoying" Catholics. This included handing out condoms, protesting, wearing a t-shirt that someone doesn't like or just looking at someone the wrong way. Also for this occasion they have removed 130 homeless people from Sydney. Heaven forbid the Catholic visitors see the city's disadvantaged sect.
In disbelief, I have heard reports that Australians have eaten the final cherry and reached the coveted position of "fattest nation in the world". Gee thanks Australia, now what does America have to be a leader in? I'm a Texan girl and have been witness to the "everything bigger" line and it is true in TX and all over the Midwest. In defense of America's heavyweight title I argued this new finding with my Aussie friend James who said "we just hide all our fatties away."
Now I understand that's what they do with all their problems.
Follow up question: What happens to the overbearing moms who point out imperfections to be concealed when the country does it for them?
Cheers to not falling for a typical Aussie trick. clink.
ps. I thought the readers would want to know that yesterday the Federal Court struck down the "annoyance" law and people have happily been handing out condoms and protesting in the nude, just the way god intended it.
7.15.2008
Kiss this 'Sideways'
Went to the 'bun (Melbourne) this weekend. It is quite different from Sydney. It is more edgy and funky. There are unique bars and cafe's all over the place, most likely because it costs $300 for a liquor license, where in Sydney it costs $10K. It reminded me a little of NYC, a little of an unidentified European city and a pinch of Austin. Like the Hill Country of Central Texas, Melbourne has the Yarra Valley wine region, known for a climate primed to produce world loved Pinots about an hour away. We visited a few wineries, drank our share of free tastings and without a doubt I preferred the Chard. Don't worry sir Noir, I will continue my attempts at sophistication and pretend to like your acidic aftertaste.Cheers to a surprising outcome, whoda thought it was always the Chardonnay? clink.
No, I am not Canadian
is the disappointing phrase I am forced to utter when playing a game the locals like to call - - cue the yellow flashy lights and the announcer voice - -"Do you mind if I guess where you're from?" Honestly, I don't mind playing that game. It is nice that people are paying attention to me, I just wonder why they always guess Canadian. Perhaps it is the red sweatshirt with a white leaf that has about 5 points that I wear around, or maybe not.
On another note, I'm really in the mood for a night out on the town with my girls. Imagine cosmos, the deep beats of club music and some frivolous and silly dancing.
I know you're with me - but this dance party is a solo one happening in my head as I walk down the street groovin' to Timbaland on my ipod shuffle. I think "it's cool if I skip and you notice 'cuz I will never see you again, and I'm the one skipping. Jealous?"
Cheers to Canada, my home away, from home away, from home. clink.
On another note, I'm really in the mood for a night out on the town with my girls. Imagine cosmos, the deep beats of club music and some frivolous and silly dancing.
I know you're with me - but this dance party is a solo one happening in my head as I walk down the street groovin' to Timbaland on my ipod shuffle. I think "it's cool if I skip and you notice 'cuz I will never see you again, and I'm the one skipping. Jealous?"
Cheers to Canada, my home away, from home away, from home. clink.
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